His Own Battlefield

Ok, I know this is a heavy topic and not fun at all, but it's World Suicide Prevention Day today. And since this subject is a big part of my family and my life, I will post. There was an "event" on facebook to share thoughts and memorials. I ran across this:

His Own Battlefield

"Our friend died on his own battlefield. He was killed in action fighting a civil war. He fought against adversaries that were as real to him as his casket is real to us. They were powerful adversaries. They took toll of his energies and endurance. They exhausted the last vestiges of his courage and his strength. At last these adversaries overwhelmed him. And it appeared that he had lost the war. But did he? I see a host of victories that he has won!

"For one thing - he has won our admiration - because even if he lost the war, we give him credit for his bravery on the battlefield. And we give him credit for the courage and pride and hope that he used as his weapons as long as he could. We shall remember not his death, but his daily victories gained through his kindnesses and thoughtfulness, through his love for his family and friends...for all things beautiful, lovely, and honorable. We shall remember not his last day of defeat, but we shall remember the many days that he was victorious over overwhelming odds. We shall remember not the years we thought he had left, but the intensity with which he lived the years that he had. Only God knows what this child of His suffered in the silent skirmishes that took place in his soul. But our consolation is that God does know, and understands."

The Reverend Wes Stephens, at a funeral for a victim of suicide

Many of these are thoughts I have had about my little brother, Shawn. He was a strong man, who had so much to live for. He was funny and had a beautiful smile. He danced like no one was watching - even though he knew we all were! I cannot imagine the kind of pain he was in. I know he fought a good fight. I love him and think of him every day.